“It takes more distress and poison to kill someone who has peace of mind and loves life."
Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.

As a motivational speaker conducting leadership training and keynote speeches around the world, I'm often asked to combine the topic of leadership with "life balance" and stress management. Here are 15 easy tips that will help you increase your energy, enthusiasm and reduce stress. And if you're in a leadership position, how can you be an effective leader and set a good example if you yourself are not motivated and energized to perform good work?

1) Get enough sleep. According to the National Sleep Foundation in Washington, D.C., 65% of Americans are sleep deprived. Try to get at least seven hours of sleep per night.

2) Go to bed and wake up around the same time each day. Within the same hour is ideal. Researchers at Stanford University’s Sleep Disorder Center have found it is possible to catch up on sleep during the weekends, but this can also upset your circadian rhythms and leave you more tired on Monday morning.

3) Do not eat or drink anything within one hour of your bedtime. Your body will only have to work harder to digest your food, which interrupts sleep patterns. And by drinking liquids right before bedtime, it’s more likely you’ll have to get up in the middle of the night.

4) Put your nervous system on glide at least one hour before retiring for the night. You can do this by using soft lighting (no more than 25 watts) relaxing music, a scented bubble bath with candles or some other quiet activity. Try avoiding work at least three hours before you go to bed as this can energize you. The same is true with exercise.

5) Drink plenty of water during the day. Dehydration causes you to feel fatigued even if you are eating healthy and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

6) Plan at least one activity during the day that gives you pleasure and energizes you just to think about it.

7) Socialize with others to increase energy and reduce stress. Make certain you spend quality time with other adults during the day. And if you work outside the home, preferably where you can discuss something besides business or the kids.

8) Exercise in the morning to increase your energy level and reduce stress. Depending on your biorhythms and schedule, many attendees in my speaking engagements report that morning exercise gives them increased energy and a sense of greater calm during the workday. They often tell me they have to “drag themselves" out the door, but feel so much better afterwards.

9) Hot and cold shower. Upon awakening in the morning, take a hot shower with eucalyptus oil sprinkled on a loofah sponge. End with a shot of cooler water. This will invigorate your body, stimulate blood flow and bring oxygen to your cells.

10) Pour on the protein. Foods rich in protein help improve mental acuity and slow the absorption of carbohydrates. Eggs, fish, low fat dairy, nuts, seeds, peanut butter, also meat and poultry if you’re not a vegetarian. Still, make sure you include plenty of other foods for moderation.

11) Cut back on caffeine to reduce stress and increase energy. If you love coffee or colas (coffee lovers I can relate!) cut back and consider adding green tea to your daily regimen. Green tea contains powerful anti-oxidants and less caffeine. If you drink caffeine, you want enough to perk you up but not so much as to experience that crash later in the day.

12) Have a goal of taking at least two weeks vacation time a year. Work your way up to three and four weeks a year. Start taking off two days per week, if that’s at all possible, where you refuse to do any time of work that would tax your mind and stress you out. If you are very busy or self-employed, make this something to strive for in the future.

13) Spend time planning a getaway vacation. For many of us, staying home for a holiday is nice, but we’re still surrounded by bills, laundry, phone calls and other stressful distractions. Consider a goal of taking that dream destination vacation you’ve always wanted whether it’s to Tahiti, Paris, or a national park. If this seems virtually impossible, I strongly recommend you read the article titled “How to Set Goals and Get What You Want" under the free articles section at http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com I dreamed of an Alaska cruise for many years, practiced the simple time-tested techniques in that article, and cruised there for a third time in May 2005. Glorious! And some of the most beautiful, relaxing scenery you can imagine.

14) Get outdoors every day even if it’s overcast. Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, winters are normally gray. Winter 2005 was unusual with its turquoise-blue sunny skies and temperatures reaching almost 70 degrees in January. However, it’s a proven fact that with reduced sunlight, many people all over the world suffer from SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, during the winter months. Go to www.seasonalaffectivedisorder.com to find out more about this often debilitating disorder.

15) Listen to mood enhancing music during the day. What type of music energizes you and gets those feel-good hormones into your brain? Blues and Contemporary Smooth Jazz? R&B or rock and roll? A word of caution: be careful listening to your favorite music right before bedtime. I sometimes listen to Contemporary Smooth Jazz…lots of saxophone and trumpets late into the night, and often it energizes me rather than putting me to sleep.

Take personal responsibility for maximizing your success and minimizing stress. You can’t control many external circumstances such as other people, traffic and weather; but you can control your environment. Write down three action steps you’ll take to improve your well-being. Share these with someone. Develop a buddy system for accountability. When you write them down and commit to them, you’re more likely to follow through. Here’s to much success and less stress!

Submitted by: Colleen Kettenhofen (399)
Colleen Kettenhofen
ColleenSpeaks.com

1. How to solve problems like a genius.

Geniuses are just ordinary people who stumble on a knack or way of thinking that enables them to think and learn more effectively and creatively than others.

When you closely examine how “geniuses" like Newton or Archimedes thought, they didn’t simply sit under trees or in baths until their enlightenment: they used some very powerful and practical tools to create order out of their thoughts and find answers to problems that few people ever thought to solve.

In this article, we explore some of the tools the great thinkers used. They are as applicable now as they were then. These techniques will help you to:

Clear your head when faced with a challenging problem.
Generate more than one workable solution to your problem.
Think creatively.
Think productively instead of re-productively.
Give you clear methodology that will make solving problems straight forward and stress free.

First, here are some of the common factors of the world’s great thinkers:

The idea generation was in pictures and images rather than words. Einstein and da Vinci drew diagrams instead of writing words and sentences.
Their thinking was unrestrained nothing was consigned to the bin until it had been fully investigated.
They treated thoughts as things.
Ideas were explored using association.
They looked at ideas from different perspectives.
They were prolific and recorded everything.
They fuelled their imaginations with knowledge.
Their thinking was focused.
They were passionate and determined about discovery.
They made mistakes but instead of seeing them as failures, saw them instead as “ways of how not to do it".
They saw potential in everything.
They saw mistakes and unexpected surprise results as valuable opportunities to learn from.
They never gave up.

Consider this definition of "problem": a problem is an external event perceived as a mental, physical, emotional or intellectual threat to the individual/s concerned. Chances are, your problem only became “a problem" when you became personally involved causing your perception of an event to shift before that, it was just an event, when you perceived that you were potentially threatened by it, the event became a problem.

Everything (including problems) starts in your head. Using your imagination and thinking processes constructively while you solve problems gives your mind the “stuff" it needs to be productive (create new solutions) as distinct from re-productive (create more of the old which is what probably landed you with the problem in the first place).

One of the most reliable ways of solving a problem is the “systems" strategy.

This method does not allow you to add complications that do not exist and it ensures the facts are gathered without the hindrance of destructive emotion (the first indication that an event is turning into a problem).

Seeing the entire system (i.e. the problem and everything associated with it) enhances insight into a problem and allows you to deal with the real issue. Most often, when solutions don’t work it’s because they are the solution to a perceived problem, not the real one.

Genius is simply a way of thinking.

For more information on Genius Thinking visit http://www.tinakonstant.com

2. Take Action

Applying System Thinking to finding the real problem


Write down what you perceive the problem to be. (e.g., general performance is poor)
Look at all the symptoms that lead you to that conclusion (e.g. late arrival, low motivation, agitated behaviour between colleagues, missing deadlines)
Take each symptom and write down all the possible causes for each one (NOTE: be as unbiased as possible (e.g. possible causes for missing deadlines – working late hours, unclear job descriptions, unclear management decisions, unreasonable timescales, etc.)
Take each of the possible causes and determine if they apply to the situation (e.g. Do people work late hours? Are timescales unreasonable? Is communication between staff and management clear?). Sometimes it is worth using some form of external mediation at this point to ensure an unbiased outcome.
Once you have determined some definite causes, work on those solutions instead of the general issue of “poor performance".

One of the reasons why this technique works is because instead of gathering your team and accusing them of poor performance, thus setting the scene for blame or denial, you are in fact asking questions that give people the opportunity to examine their performance without feeling threatened or singled out. By asking questions you might find that “poor performance" is caused by the fact that people feel obliged to work late each night and are exhausted. This problem is comparatively easy to solve because, unlike “general poor performance" it is clearly definable.

It’s important to carry out this exercise with all the people involved. It’s also important to make it a safe and open forum so that people feel free to contribute without thinking that one wrong answer with generate a P45.

Active Daydreaming.

One main difference between the way Einstein thought and the way most other people think is that his method was more disciplined. Take a moment to consider what you think about in a typical day. What are the chances of you generating your theory of relativity based on what presently occupies your mind? Give yourself a mark from 1 to 10 (1 being – no chance: 10 being – I would have but Einstein just happened to get there first!)

Using your imagination and thinking processes constructively while you solve problems gives your mind the “stuff" it needs to be productive (create new ideas) as distinct from re-productive (create more of the old).

Using Active Daydreaming.

Do this exercise with a colleague or use a tape recorder.

First, write down in a single sentence the problem you are working on.
Set a timer for as much time as you can afford
Sit back, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax.
State your problem and desired outcome out loud, and then describe all the images and thoughts that come into your head. Just start to talk. It doesn’t matter what the images or thoughts are don’t disregard anything. It is important to speak out loud for two reasons, one, you wont miss anything, two, you are more likely to stay awake and focused!
Carry on at least until the clock goes off or when you have come across an answer or idea that you sense might warrant further investigation.
Take a short break then listen to the tape or study the notes your colleague made.
Then, organise your thoughts.
If you worked with a colleague swap over. Once you have both carried out the exercise, compare notes.

Have fun with your brain :-)


Submitted by: Tina Konstant (63)
http://www.tinakonstant.com

Effective leaders are known for being excellent communicators. Here's what to do.
1) Avoid "Not." Negative talk encourages arguments, counter attacks, and attempts to solve your problems. It also creates a negative impression. For example, when you say, "I can't," you appear helpless and ineffective. Instead, talk about what you can do and what you want.

2) Deal with impossible requests by 1) acknowledging the request, 2) empathizing with the other person's feelings, 3) saying, "I wish I could fix it." and 4) suggesting a reasonable alternative." For example, imagine that you work at a resort and it is raining. A guest walks up to you carrying a golf bag, slams it against your desk, and shouts, "This place stinks! I spent thousands of dollars coming here and it's raining."

You respond by saying, "You're right it's raining. And I know how upsetting it must feel to travel this far and be stuck inside. I wish I could make it stop. In the meantime, you may want to visit our indoor putting center. Our golf pro is offering instructions this afternoon."

3) Deal with difficult requests by 1) affirming your willingness to help and 2) asking the other person to help you plan a solution.

For example, if your boss asks you to start another project, you could say, "I understand you want me to start a new project. And right now I'm working on another project. To help me set my priorities, I wonder which one you want me to finish first."

4) When possible, offer choices that show the consequences of different options. This allows the other person to choose both the process and its impact.

For example, you can say, "That's a great idea. And there are different ways I can meet your request. We can use our existing supplies, which are free, or we can buy custom materials, which will cost $500. Which option would you prefer?"

5) Deal with complaints by asking the other person to describe a fair settlement. You can say, "What do you want?" or "What would you consider a fair solution to this?" or "What would make you happy?"

6) A smile significantly affects how you sound. It also makes you more approachable. When you frown, other people hear anxiety, caution, fear, and rejection. A smile (or at least a pleasant expression) encourages open communication.

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Steve Kaye helps leaders hold effective meetings. He is an IAF Certified Professional Facilitator, author, and speaker. His meeting facilitation and leadership workshops create success for everyone. Call 714-528-1300 for details. Visit http://www.stevekaye.com for a free report.

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." Albert Schweitzer

1.You set the standard: Work as hard, or harder, than your employees. Be a role model when managing people. Strive to know more than your best employee (or best sales rep) about your product line, industry, and their jobs. This doesn’t mean you have to know everything. Still, educate yourself. I frequently hear in my seminars, “My boss has no idea what I really do in my job. The challenges, the pressures I face, and the time constraints."

2. Be an effective communicator: Communicate the good, the bad, and the ugly at least weekly. In study after study, employees and business leaders overwhelmingly want a leader who is “straightforward." I hear this over and over in my leadership seminars and workshops worldwide. Good interpersonal skills are crucial in managing people.

3. Be authentic, be real: The #1 trait people want to see, to willingly follow their leader is honesty. How can you expect them to look up to you if they don’t trust you? Leadership is all about honesty and integrity.

4. The top 5 things: Ask your people point blank, “What are the top 5 things I can do to help you succeed?" For example, if they are salespeople, what can you do to motivate them to be out in the field instead of in the office?

5. MBWA: Management by walking around. Be accessible to them. Get in the trenches with your team. Nothing will gain respect for you more than that. This is another trait I consistently hear from my participants that they want to see in their leaders, and from their management team.

6. Be willing to fight for them: But before that, set the standard so they know how far they can push something before they ask for it. And when is enough…enough.

7. Get the facts first, listen: Never question their integrity without first gathering all the data. Have an open mind. Let them tell their side of the story. Just because you acknowledge what they say doesn't mean you have to agree.

This leadership article on managing people represents the opinions of a large cross section of employees, most of whom are managers themselves. In presenting approximately 100 leadership programs a year worldwide for the past ten years, these are the top 7 “common-sense" traits I hear employees most want from their managers. I refer to them as common-sense as it seems most leaders would know how important these people skills are to possess. Yet, many in management have risen in the ranks due only to their “hard skills" or technical skills. Many managers are promoted to management positions without any formal training in the area of communication and managing people. As a result, they can be too overbearing, or just the opposite, non-confrontational.

If nothing else, develop your communication and conflict-resolution skills. It’ll save you money in the long run. As a manager, it’s imperative to know how to manage people. The courts are filled with hotheads, people who said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Or worse, said nothing at all, and enabled the behavior of a difficult employee until it reached a crisis point.

“Sow an act, reap a habit sow a habit, reap a character sow a character, reap a destiny." G.D. Boardman

Copyright 2006 Colleen Kettenhofen

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Colleen Kettenhofen is a motivational speaker, workplace expert, & co-author of "The Masters of Success," as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. She has spoken in 47 states & 6 countries. Popular topics: difficult people, success, presentation skills, leadership, life balance. To order the book online, or for more free articles visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars.

How do you turn a complainer into a problem solver? How do you stay abreast of problems on the front line, get the employees to let you in on the inside scoop without encouraging them to tattle or criticize? There are four knee-jerk responses that you may be operating from without awareness. These statements are sure to award you the title “unapproachable" and the result will be low moral, as you are rendered clueless to that inside world of your employees. Look at the list below as if you were taking a test. How many times have you said:

· “There’s nothing I can do."

· “It’s always been that way."

· “No one else is complaining."

· “If you don’t like it, find another place to work."


Why would a manager use any of these statements? Basically because S/he feels powerless and it gets rid of the complaining employee—especially when there is no known solution in sight. It works as a quick fix, ending the discomfort momentarily but at a high price. Before using these statements again in the future ask yourself these questions?

Am I solving problems by making this statement?
Am I respecting my employee as someone to be valued?
Am I representing myself as someone who is open and approachable?
Do I sound defensive or self-righteous?
Am I empowering this employee to take an active or a passive role?
When employees complain, there is a better way. Begin by using communication to empower employees to be a part of the solution instead of part of the problem.


“There’s nothing I can do."
When you say to your complaining employee, “There’s nothing I can do," you are really communicating, “there is nothing I am willing to do." Don’t expect to keep abreast of problems in your department if that is your mantra. Why should an employee ever come to you if your response is “there’s nothing I can do?" A more empowering approach is to ask a question: “What do you see as some opportunities to address this problem?" That gives the impression that you are considering their thoughts and feelings and entering into partnership to find a solution. What is the answer for those employees that like to vent? How do you support their viewpoints without encouraging them to constantly pound on your door with some complaint? To reduce this tendency, you must make them accountable in a non-threatening way. Ask for their input or suggest another meeting with the expectation that they come up with at least a part of the solution. The result is a more thoughtful employee who is willing to consider solutions before ever presenting problems. Avoid the inclination to let the situation hang without another meeting. Set a time for the next meeting and follow up as you would with any other professional. Don’t slam the door by saying, “ it’s always been that way."


“It’s always been that way."

The statement, “It’s always been that way," suggests it (what ever the situation or problem is,) it should or will continue to be that way. It is a poor excuse and strips the employee of hope or empowerment—besides, it is a terrible argument. (That kind of reasoning didn’t work for the women’s movement or for keeping slavery in place.) History reminds us that it’s natural to look for better ways and yet at the same time most of us resist change unless it benefits us. If the employee is complaining about a particular situation it is because s/he believes there is some change that could make the situation more beneficial. Are you, as the manager the one resisting change?

Managers, who move up from the bottom, often forget what it’s like and falsely assume that working conditions are the same for their subordinates as they were for them. In reality, several things have probably changed. People are doing more with less, or the time has changed or demands have increased, thus it’s a false statement to say, “it has always been that way." Understand that perhaps you are simply unaware of the changes. One way to gain more insight is to ask for examples as to how things have changed for the better and for the worse. This teaches employees to develop critical and objective thinking. It is also a way to unite with your subordinate by talking about the changes and how some changes are subtle and hard to recognize unless you are directly in the position it affects.

Even if you haven’t heard a complaint from anyone else, resist the inclination to condemn the employee by suggesting that he is the only one with a problem. Realize he may be the only one with enough courage to confront the problem and there may be others who wish they knew how to complain.


“No one else is complaining"

Although no one else has stepped forward to complain, it really doesn’t mean anything. Someone has to be the first to register a complaint. Instead of saying, “Well you’re the only one complaining—I haven’t heard a peep from anyone else," A better response is, “Do others feel the same way?"

Isn’t it better to really know what your employees think than to put your head in the sand? One example from the production lines comes to mind: The department was in a transition, waiting for a new automatic stacker that was designed to handle the stacking and wrapping of two production lines. In the meantime, one worker handled the demands of two lines while for over a year they waited for the ‘robot.’ The pallets came out every 10 minutes and by the time worker was able to wrap, tag and pull another skid down to begin the stacking, there were about 15 boxes piled up and ready to jam in the code-dater. It’s through transitions that often the small changes create a ripple effect that goes unnoticed by management, but becomes the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. Throughout this conversion several other small changes had occurred and there were no provisions put into place to monitor the effects on the employees. The roller ramp that the boxes slid down had been shortened about 15 feet, the wooden skids were now made with oak instead of pine, thus making them heaver to maneuver. There was a shortage of forklift drivers and one person was stacking two converged lines instead of one person per line. Often the worker even had to pull the skid from the line with a forklift. (God forbid if anyone took the extra forklift.)

Eventually a woman named Janice had an idea for a partial solution and the confidence to approach the foreman about the situation. Unfortunately Janice got stomped with one of his three favorite aphorisms: “No one else is complaining." Although this was certainly true, the foreman was oblivious to the fact that another employee, was going home every evening, soaking in a tub, loading herself with medicine and going straight to bed. She was afraid to complain. Just a few months later, the same employee was off because of headaches and tendonitis. The tendency to avoid the problem by getting rid of the complaining worker resulted in lost time from another injured employee. What a shame that the complaint wasn’t investigated or handled correctly. Perhaps the reason no one else complained is because they knew what they would hear: “If you don’t like it, find another place to work."


“If you don’t like it find another place to work."

With the massive changes occurring in the workplace, compounded with the low unemployment rate, the practical solution isn’t telling employees to hit the road.

Other than the fact that this kind of statement lacks creativity it’s just plain rude. It reeks of disrespect and suggests that you don’t care about your employee. I know of one particular example where the statement was similar: “I didn’t ask you to work here." Often these kinds of statements are said in anger or sarcasm and justified by some statement like, “well it’s the truth."

The kind of logic that justifies these kinds of statements is the same kind of logic that says grub worms are edible. In other words, (just because something is edible, doesn’t mean you want to eat it.) Just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s relevant to the situation. When in doubt, use the five-point checklist. You fail if you can’t pass every one.

Am I solving problems by making this statement?
Am I respecting my employee as someone to be valued?
Am I representing myself as someone who is open and approachable?
Do I sound defensive or self-righteous?
Am I empowering this employee to take an active or a passive role?
If you want employees to take ownership it’s up to you as their leader to empower them to take responsibility. They have to be comfortable confronting problems and coming up with potential solutions. You have the power to help them find the solutions, articulate the changes and develop the courage to point out what everyone else is thinking. When you create this kind of work climate, you’ll increase your own awareness, find workable solutions and you won’t have to tell them to find another place to work because they will be too valuable right where they are.

Author Bio: Marlene Chism, M.A. is a relationship development expert that helps companies stop the drama so that productivity and teamwork can thrive. Marlene speaks professionally around the United States and can be reached at 1.888.434.9085 or through the web at www.stopyourdrama.com.

You never thought this day would come, the day when you can’t stop working and you don’t want to. You’re a workaholic. These days, more and more people are succumbing to this lack of work-life balance. Ironically, being a workaholic can make your work decline in quality and effectiveness, as you allow your work-obsessed life to turn you into a miserable person. Far from being a conscious decision, this typically happens slowly over time in the form of several small yet repeated sacrifices of personal time to allow for more work time. Usually this is done with the mentality of - just this once. This is a slippery slope. Overtime this behavior can become a pattern called workaholism. In order to startup a business or to keep their career on the path to success, many people have become workaholics unbeknownst to themselves. Most entrepreneurs love their businesses and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it successful, but they must remember to love and take care of themselves, too.

Oftentimes, the realization of being a workaholic comes with repeated comments from others or through self-awareness of how your work schedule differs from that of others. Working hard to achieve a goal that is very important to you is OK. What is not OK is neglecting yourself, your loved ones and feeling that the decision to do so is no longer a conscious one you have control over, but is a habit that you can no longer control. The long-term consequences of this can include diminishing physical health and spiraling into a work-induced depression. In order to avoid letting your business drive you mad, incorporate the following 5 lessons into your busy life:

1. Exercise regularly and stay active. It is far too easy to avoid exercising because you have to do more work. Instead, make you physical health your top priority. Exercise is an ideal way to tap into your inner genius and solutions hidden in your subconscious mind. Take a jog and mull over an issue that you’ve been having in the workplace. You will find that you can run across the solution as you keep yourself fit. You will also find that you will have more energy to power through those times when you do need to squeeze more work hours from yourself.

2. Eat and drink healthily. Working until the wee hours of the morning can cause you to have the late-night munchies. Reach for a stick of celery or some baby carrots instead. To avoid feeling drained of energy, keep on hand snacks that are high protein like a pop-top can of tuna, raw almonds and soy nuts. Healthy foods make healthy minds that can work longer, harder and smarter.

3. Get enough sleep. When you find yourself nodding off at your desk, or day dreaming and losing focus, you are no longer productive. It’s better to get a full night’s rest and be fresh in the morning than to stay up late and work inefficiently. A cup of coffee is not a substitute for the sleep your body needs. It is more efficient to get the sleep you need and be faster and smarter the next day.

4. Spend time outdoors. This can be combined with lesson 1. Fresh air does wonders for your mental state, and spending time with nature can bring out creativity which leads to great ideas that increase your bottom line. Take the time in your life to get out of doors. To avoid cabin fever and tunnel vision, take a long walk, breath the fresh air in deeply and notice the beauty around you.

5. Take some quiet time each day. Staring at the computer, talking on the phone and writing hundreds of emails everyday can wear your brain out. Find ten minutes of everyday and have some quiet time for yourself. Meditate, close your eyes and zone out or just listen to some soothing music for ten minutes a day. To get my second wind, I usually need this in the afternoon. You will be amazed what a little quiet time can do for your peace of mind and those around you will be grateful you took the time to care for yourself, making you an easier and more pleasant person to deal with.

Working a lot is not a bad thing as long as it is temporary and there is an end, a break and future rewards in sight. By incorporating life enhancing practices into your everyday routine, you can become more productive and produce a better quality of work, and this increases the longevity of your personal and business health. For more information about how you can grow your business the healthy way, visit www.flourishingbusiness.com .

Don Imus, a shock jock (someone who shocks their listening audience by saying outrageous statements), was fired from his jobs on WCBS radio and MSNBC television for crossing the line of decency and making racist and sexist remarks regarding the Rutgers University women's basketball team. From a team building and employee motivational point of view, there are tidbits of motivational wisdom to be learned from this situation.

First, let me ask you, how many "Don “Imuses" do you have in your organization, your team, or your department? You know what I mean, the employees, whether they are women or male employees, who continuously cross the line when it comes to behavior; perhaps being overbearing or the bully at work. They make insensitive comments without respect for other people's feelings, and then say the following when you discuss their conduct:

“I'm just being me."
“That's just the way I am."
"I was just playing."
"I didn't hurt anybody."
"Oh, you're just too sensitive."
"Can't you take a joke?"
“I didn't mean anything by it."

Yet, they proceed to exhibit this inappropriate behavior. Because of this “Don Imus" behavior, productivity decreases, employees are less motivated, transfers and personnel issues increase, and soon you stop accomplishing your goals. Bottom line is that these kinds of people can tear apart your organization and team with their words or behavior.

The following are five secrets to handling the “Don Imuses" on your team so that you keep employee motivation high, build a strong, self-directed team, and achieve a higher level of organizational success:

1. Live Your Mission – When you continuously communicate and act upon the organization's mission, values, and goals, your employees will be motivated to live the mission and maintain a high standard of behavior and productivity. This communication must start at the top and be communicated and acted upon at every level at every opportunity.

One of your organization's top values should be—respect. When you allow an employee to disrespect other team members through words or actions, you are not living your organization's mission, which will lead to organizational and team turmoil, productivity issues, and possible harassment issues.

We know when working with top organizations, the more organizational values are communicated and reinforced, the more success the organization will achieve. This creates a motivated work environment and rewards employees based on the mission.

2. Be Consistent – Whenever you observe this bad behavior, you must address it each and every time. Many times I will hear managers say, "Well, they just said it once" or "It will go away eventually." Well, it doesn't go away. By not addressing this inappropriate conduct each and every time, you enable or empower the individual expressing this behavior. Your "Don Imus" person is thinking, "Well, no one said anything, so it must be acceptable," or "If I can get away with this, then let me overstep the boundaries even further." All the while the other employees, who are conducting themselves in a positive manner, are less motivated to produce. They will retreat to a safe environment where they won't need to communicate with this person and communication fundamental to a successful work environment ceases.

Be consistent each and every time! Have the courage to conduct a private coaching session with the "Don Imus" personality and explain what is acceptable communication and behavior each and every time. Explain in detail what the reward for good employee behavior is and the penalty for continued bad employee behavior.

3. Remember That Words Hurt - "Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" is the phrase many of us heard growing up. Well, words do hurt. The best advertising copywriters, political experts, speech writers, and screen writers are paid millions of dollars to create emotions with words so that we are persuaded to act in certain and various ways.

Realize that once we say something that is hurtful or can alienate our fellow employees, we can never take it back. Or, as the old expression goes, "It's hard to get the horses back in the barn once the door is opened."

We should all be careful with the words we use. You might ask yourself the following:

Is my language positive or motivating toward my fellow employees?
Am I showing respect toward my team members with the words I use?
Do the jokes I use uplift or motivate or tear down and de-motivate my team members?

Note: Always use honest communication that respects the recipient of your message. When you are "frank" (Let me be frank with you…), this means you are giving an opinion at the expense of the person receiving your "frankness." Let's leave "frank" out of our conversation and be more honest and respectful.

4. Motivate Towards Good Behavior – Always encourage positive, motivating behavior and recognize good behavior whenever you can. Recognize the person(s) exhibiting positive behavior in team meetings, a memo, or letter from the vice president, etc.

Most of all, your employees will emulate the behavior you show. Always be on your best motivating, respectful, and positive behavior. When it comes to behavior as a manager, you receive what you send out.

5. Be Prepared to Take Corrective Action – If you have a meeting and/or coaching with the employees that are exhibiting the "Don Imus" behavior and they choose to continue with their inappropriate behavior, it's time to take action. Make sure that you, as the supervisor or manager, document, document, and document all discussions relating to this unacceptable behavior. Confer with human resources to receive expert advice on the next steps in the corrective action procedure. Remember, you are never alone when dealing with this kind of employee. Then start implementing the corrective action and follow-up to ensure there is a positive change in behavior. Be timely in your follow-ups so that there is no lapse in time between the next situation of unacceptable behavior and the next level of corrective action. Also, immediately motivate and reinforce positive behavior changes.

Remember, if you show you are quick to take action for unacceptable behavior, this sends a message to your team members that you respect them as employees, individuals, and team members; and they will be far more motivated because of your actions.

Apply the above five employee motivational secrets and eliminate the "Don Imus" personalities from your team, and you will create a motivated workplace that achieves team and organizational goals.

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Ed Sykes is a highly sought after motivational speaker, author, and success coach in the areas of leadership, motivation, presentation skills, customer service, and team building. You can e-mail him at mailto:esykes@thesykesgrp.com, or call him at (757) 427-7032. Go to his web site, http://www.thesykesgrp.com, and signup for his newsletter, OnPoint, and receive the free ebooks, "Empowerment and Stress Secrets for the Busy Professional" or "Marvelous Customer Service Techniques for Outstanding Results."

Many managers, supervisors and team leaders are promoted to leadership positions based on their "hard skills" or technical skills. Yet, as new managers, most of them have never had any formal training in people-skills, and how to communicate effectively. And now, they're managing people!

In over eleven years conducting management skills training, here are what I see as the seven most common mistakes managers make:

1. Practicing favoritism when managing friends and former colleagues. Don't socialize all the time with that one friend, and not include other workers. If you're going to socialize with a close friend you manage, make certain you socialize with your other employees as well. For example, if you go to lunch with a friend you supervise, make a point of including the others. Beware the "boss's pet " problem. In other words, others will look at your relationship with that person as being based solely on a friendship.

2. Poor delegation. As managers, many of us are doers. Let's face it. We like control. And that usually means we are not delegating enough. Years ago as a new manager, I used to think, "Well, if I want it done right I better do it myself." Or, "In the time it takes me to train someone, I might as well do it myself." Don't give the work to someone else because the difficult employee works too slowly or makes mistakes. Don't do it all yourself either. Remember, your job is to help grow, develop and mature the employee. If you don't want to delegate a whole project to an employee, at least delegate a role within that project.

3. Poor communication. And often, not really having an "open door" policy. A big complaint from employees is the manager who is not sharing job knowledge, skills and ideas. It makes employees feel intimidated. They don't feel supported. If you want to be seen as someone who practices effective management skills, it's imperative that you practice good people-skills. Work on your communication.

4. Not being flexible to change and open to new ideas. Be open to what employees have to say. Even if you don't always agree. At least acknowledge them. It shows you're open-minded and a good listener. Part of being an effective manager or supervisor means practicing good listening skills.

5. "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality. For example, the manager emphasizes that employees must report to work on time, but he/she is always late themselves. If you're going to be late, make sure employees understand it's for a good reason. Such as the fact that while you arrive late, you also work late. Like it or not, they look to you as a role model. To see if you're practicing what you preach.

6. Not giving credit where credit is due. You know what it's like if you've ever had a manager or supervisor who took YOUR great idea and ran with it. They take the credit. And, if the idea doesn't work, they blame it on you! Give credit to an employee where credit is due. Give specific, immediate praise where it is warranted. Behavior rewarded is behavior repeated.

7. Micromanaging. This is a huge mistake that managers and supervisors make. I hear about it all the time. And, from many managers themselves…about their own managers! Let the employee do their work. Otherwise, it makes them feel you don't trust them. Or, that you don't have confidence in them.

"Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly bigger man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error." General Peyton C. Marsh

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Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert, & co-author of "The Masters of Success," as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. For free articles, e-newsletter, or to order the book visit http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Topics: leadership, success, difficult people, public speaking. Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars. (971)212-2412.
http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com

Is it possible to love work?
Absolutely, but you must love that you do and feel as though you are blessed to be working rather than viewing work as a drain on you and your family.

I recently read a statistic that stated 80% of people in the workforce are unhappy with the profession they are currently in.

What a tough way to go through life.
The average worker spends fifty hours a week at their job, or ten hours per day. If you add eight hours of sleep everyday to that number, then the average person spends 18 hours a day at work or asleep. That is a staggering seventy five percent of a person’s time.
If you don’t enjoy what you do, then most of your week is wasted energy.

The difference between living the life you love and feeling as though you are just taking up space is in the level of motivation you have to work.

If you are going to spend the better part of your day away from family, friends and other relationships that are close to you, you better be making a difference while enjoying your profession.

How does a person find the motivation to work?
You have to find what you love to do and where your talents are. This may sound like a simple solution, and on the surface it is. Where most people struggle is when their love and talents don’t pay the bills.

Paying the bills should be the least of your worries but in today’s society where people have to have the biggest and best of everything, they sacrifice meaningful relationships for money and toys.

If you started with your passion and talents and then tried to find the target market to serve, you would be light years ahead of most people who dislike their job but do it for the money.

The motivation for changing professions should be the thought of spending time doing something you love and making a difference in people’s lives. If it’s a constant struggle for you to drag yourself out of bed and begin a day’s work, you are in the wrong job. Work is not an option, everyone should work. There is no such thing as retired. If you are financially free, you still need to fill the void left in your day. Sipping umbrella drinks by the pool all day loses its luster after awhile, not mention it’s a selfish way to spend your time. If you’ve been blessed financially, you have the obligation to bless others, simple as that.

Start searching for what makes you happy and find the proper target market. Serve that market and soon enough you’ll be jumping out of bed looking forward to an awesome day that lies ahead.


EverydayIsSaturday.com

Time management is not concerned solely with the amount of time spent on certain activities in terms of minutes, hours, days, weeks or months. You could certainly track how you spend time everyday, and that might help you see where you're wasting it. But if your goal is to get more done in less time, you can begin by examining your assumptions about time and how those assumptions may be preventing you from using your time productively.

Let's look at 10 of the most common--and erroneous-assumptions.

1. There is never enough time to accomplish what is really important. Wrong. There is always enough time to accomplish what is essential.

2. Other people make too many demands on my time. Other people do not control how you spend your time. You do. If you allow other people to intimidate you, they will control you.

3. Given my busy schedule, it's impossible for me to work on the basis of priorities. It is not only possible, it's
essential. To control your life, you must learn to set priorities and stick to them.

4. If you want something done right, do it yourself. This assumption stems from asking yourself the wrong question: Can I do this task better than anyone else? Instead, ask yourself: Is this task the best use of my time? Could someone else do this task well enough?

5. If only I could work more hours every day, I could finish what I need to do. This one is not only wrong, it is dangerous. Working more hours every day produces mental and physical fatigue and devours personal time. You can't do everything; learn to set priorities and make some choices. In other words, work smarter, not longer:

6. I'm frequently overworked in my job. Sure, it's possible, but it's more likely that you are suffering from an inability to say no, set priorities or delegate. And these sloppy work habits are costing you time.

7. I'm much too busy to plan my activities. The busier you are, the more important it becomes that you take time out to plan. Planning is one of the keys to time management. If you have a master plan, spontaneity becomes a matter of making intelligent choices.

8. I need at least eight hours of sleep a night of function properly. Actually, most adults need six or seven hours of sleep a night. If you're getting more, it's likely a habit, not a need.

9. I can't possibly devote a block of time to important projects every day. You can't afford not to. Set aside a 60-to 90-minute period every day to work on major projects so that you can make significant progress.

10. I should stick to my plan for the day no matter what happens. In the real world, the unexpected and unplanned have a way of cropping up. But when the unexpected does occur, ask yourself that key question: Is this more important than what I had planned to do at this time? If it isn't, don't do it.

OK. You've concluded you have a time-management problem. Now what? Here are several specific steps that will help you begin to manage your time more effectively.

1. Accomplish one major objective each day. Pick one important task and concentrate on getting it done. If you develop this habit, it will prevent you from filling up your day with low-priority activities.

2. On Friday afternoon, plan your schedule for the following week. By the middle of Friday afternoon, you have a good idea of what you've accomplished--or failed to accomplish--that week. This tactic allows you to mentally rehearse your schedule over the weekend so that you'll have a psychological head start Monday morning. When you arrive at the office, you can hit the ground running.

3. Each weekday afternoon, write down your schedule for the next day. Committing your schedule to writing will force you to think carefully about your plan. It will help you set realistic deadlines and motivate you to accomplish the plan.

4. Substantially reduce one time-waster each week. Concentrate on keeping meetings shorter and more productive.

5. Spend your time as if you had to buy it. If you look at your time as a financial investment and monitor how you spend it, you'll waste less of it.

6. Conquer procrastination now! Procrastination is not a harmless little habit. Careers fail, marriages fail and businesses fail because of it. Change your "do-it-later" habit into a "do-it-now" habit.

7. Maintain a regular physical exercise program. Exercising three or four times a week can help you reduce stress and maintain a sense of balance, discipline, order and control in your life.

8. Schedule some personal time every day. The best way to set aside personal time is to write it into your daily appointment book.

9. Good intentions are not enough. So, stop talking about how you should spend your time differently and do it.

by:Self-Esteem-ABC

10 Helpful Tips in Gaining Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can lead to various problems in someone's career, relationships and personal life. Low self-esteem can easily be transformed into depression which can further affect one's metal, physical and social disposition.

Respected psycho-therapist, Dr. Nathaniel Branden, defines self-esteem as the "disposition to experience oneself as being competent enough to be able to keep up with the challenges in one's life." The concept of self-esteem is basically all about how one views himself and his place in life itself. It is overall view of oneself based on reality.

Having a healthy self-esteem is important. It gives someone a positive outlook in life and this is reflected in his performance in his job, in his relationships and basically in everything that he does.

Here are 10 helpful tips on how one can boost his self-esteem.

1) Accept yourself

People
should remember that everyone is unique and beauty is to be found in every human being. Yes, other people can be better in doing certain things but this fact shouldn't hinder people from being the best that they can be.

Everybody is special and unique. A person's true worth cannot be seen in only one dimension of his life. For example, people usually envy the rich, thinking that they have everything and thus they are the happiest people in the world. However, the best things in life can never be bought by money. Stories of unhappiness among the rich are everywhere around us and this is a sign that wealth cannot be equated with happiness.

2) Self-Appreciation

Accepting oneself is different from appreciating oneself. Self-acceptance is a pre-requisite to self-appreciation but the latter must always be present. One might accept oneself under a pessimistic light and this is not very healthy. "I accept that I cannot do the things that I really want to do because I am weak" is a sample statement which depicts an unhealthy self-acceptance.

Appreciating oneself under a positive light is a definite self-esteem booster. One must highlight the good things about him and try to reinforce them and be better at those things.

3) Refrain from Comparing

Low self-esteem can be brought by the environment. Again, this can be traced to the lack of self-acceptance. Everybody is different and you have qualities that no other person has. A general sense of self-worth should be built without comparing oneself to other people.

4) Don't Put Yourself Down

Nobody's perfect. Making a mistake is definitely normal and people should start accepting this fact. People with low self-esteem tend to put themselves even lower by continuously and harshly putting themselves down. An inner voice which reverberates inside their heads tells them that there is no hope. This should not be the case and having control over the inner voices can be the solution for this problem. Cut yourself some slack, you've done your best and that's what's important.

5) Befriend Positive People

Having friends who are positive towards dealing with life's challenges can influence someone into seeing life in the same light and eventually build his self-esteem.

6) Remind Yourself of the Positive Things About You

Again, there is beauty in everyone. Remember all the things that you like about yourself and the good things which you have done and make a list of the most striking ones. This will help in self-appreciation and definitely give you something to smile about.

7) Use tools

Buying books, cd's and other materials about building self-esteem wouldn't hurt, would it? These materials can definitely provide some informative ways on how to deal with low self-esteem. However, buying these materials would be useless if the lessons which they give wouldn't be applied in real life.

8) Engage in Fun Activities

Having fun once in a while releases stress, takes the negative ideas out of one's head and leaves space for positive thoughts to fill in. Having fun makes one feel happy about oneself.

9) Hangout with Friends

Having fun can be done privately but nothing beats fun with friends. Friends are usually a part of the primary support group of a person and can provide much needed conversations for a down-and-out person.

10) Seek Help

When all else fail, seek professional help from a psychologist. There's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself since low self-esteem can lead to more serious problems.

Having low self-esteem can be solved with the right tools and the right attitude. Loving yourself is the ultimate way which leads to a healthy and a better "you."

by:Self-Esteem-ABC

7 Ways To Boost Your Self-ConfidenceQuickly And Easily!

Here are 7 quick ways to boost your self-confidence levels quickly and easily. You can use them where-ever you are and in whatever situation you may face. Let's get stuck in straight-away, here they are:

Basically you should be trying to fill your mind as often as possible with positive thoughts so that they ooze out of your mind. These tips above when practised regularly will help create a pattern of positive thoughts which will become a self-perpetuating cycle and a habit...

Here are 7 quick ways to boost your self-confidence levels quickly and easily. You can use them where-ever you are and in whatever situation you may face. Let's get stuck in straight-away, here they are:

1) No matter how you feel at this very moment, picture yourself in the situation you want to be in. Really see yourself there in your minds eye being successful. If you are going for an interview picture yourself starting that job on the first day going into work happy and confident. If it is success in sport you desire play a movie through your mind of you scoring the winning goal, touchdown or points. In each situation imagine how it feels to be in that situation and hold those thoughts and feelings in your mind for as long as you can.

2) If at anytime you find a negative thought creeping in to your mind, and let's face it, it will happen. Deliberately and consciously let go of that negative thought and immediately put a positive thought into your mind. You might want to put a small photo in your wallet that creates a positive emotion in your mind: a holiday snap, wedding photo, successful business meeting or whatever. Each time you pull it out it will be like flicking the switch from negative to positive.

3) When faced with a problem, start to overcome it by first concentrating on what qualities or positives you do have at your disposal. It may be useful to write a list and make sure to include even the obvious and seemingly trivial positive points that you do have going for you. This will immediately take your focus off the negative thoughts of the problem and onto your own positive abilities. Always remember: 'If you think you can, you can'.

4) Do not give any problem or negative situation anymore credit than it deserves. Do not build the problem up in your mind. Sometimes we build up a problem into a much greater thing than it really is through our fear of failure and worry. Realise the world will not stop spinning if you don't solve the problem straight-away, it may also pay to write the problem down so you can see it for what it actually is...not what you have built it up to be.

5) Find and develop your own set of affirmations that you can use and repeat to yourself at times when you are feeling particularly low. Repeating positive phrases with emotion can help change a negative thought pattern to a positive one. Here is a good one to start with especially if you are a Christian: ' I can do all things through christ that strengthen me' a classic bible passage that really does instill belief. Many more affirmations available through the link below.

6) Take a long hard look at your abilities and skills, assess them and their strength. Once you have done this raise your estimation of them all by at least 15%. After all the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts and it is important to develop a healthy belief in yourself.

7) If you have any sort of religous belief then relax and remember the power of the God that you believe in is all around you. Allow his power to flow through you freely and raise your self confidence through him. If God is for you who can possibly defeat you?

So there you have it, 7 quick tips to boost your self-confidence. Basically you should be trying to fill your mind as often as possible with positive thoughts so that they ooze out of your mind. These tips above when practised regularly will help create a pattern of positive thoughts which will become a self-perpetuating cycle and a habit....this is the real key to boosting your own self-confidence!

By Devon D. Harris

Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing wrong in talking out loud to yourself; even in public. It’s when you begin to respond that you should have cause for concern. In fact, every minute of the day we engage in a continuous internal conversation or “self talk,” which is ultimately reflected in our moods, attitudes, actions and habits. By monitoring and exerting control over this inner dialog we can begin to effectively control every other part of our lives. Facing and overcoming daily difficulties and recovering from setbacks are knitted into the fabric of human experiences. Likewise, goal striving and stretching beyond our perceived limitations is also part of what it is to be a human being. To a large extent, much of our ability to succeed comes from our outlook on life. Success in business, building strong personal relationships, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle all stem from having a sunny disposition. As I‘ve heard it often said, “no one wants to be around a doggone, disillusioned crybaby.” It all comes down to how you talk to yourself on a daily basis.


Tune in to your self talk

I am sure you’ve heard it said before, “it’s not what happens to you but how you react to it.” The way you react to any situation is a direct result of how you explain it to yourself. We must learn to listen to the things we are saying to ourselves and change the languages from negative to positive. Whenever I find myself sinking into a low mood I immediately begin to ask myself, "What was I saying to myself right before I started feeling this way?" I then change my self talk. It may sound trivial to you, but another tactic I use is to eliminate certain words from my vocabulary. For example, I chose not to use the word “problem.” A problem is something that is perplexing and burdensome. I prefer the word “challenge.” A challenge, on the other hand, is a test. It arouses and stimulates, you rise to meet it and it makes you stronger. Given the same situation, the two words will elicit totally different emotional responses.


Your thoughts build self esteem

Self esteem and confidence are the foundation for competency and high achievement. It is impossible to develop any skills without first thinking highly of yourself and your ability to acquire those skills. Start your day in front of the mirror repeating affirmations such as, “I can do it,” “I like myself” or “I am the best.” These affirmations will build your levels of self esteem and self confidence. At first you may feel strange saying them. This is because, over the years, your mind has been programmed to believe otherwise. You may not even be the best right now and could construe this as lying to yourself. I prefer to look at it as telling the truth in advance. Additionally, since we were all designed for success, any self talk that causes us to be anything less than our potential is an even bigger lie. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Constantly repeating these affirmations will eventually replace the negative programming buried in your subconscious.


Your thoughts manifest your goals

Buddha reminds us that “What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.” Consequently, we need to keep our thoughts on our future and our goals. We should be constantly thinking about the person we want to be. By focusing on our goals, we will be guided to actions that lead to their attainment. Even when things go wrong our attitude will not be one of resignation but instead, one of understanding that the path to success is paved with peaks and valleys. Difficulties will be seen as opportunities to get stronger. The more you keep your thoughts on your goals, the more likely they are to be realized. As Henry David Thoreau says, “Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.”

High achieving individuals are generally more positive, optimistic and resilient. They exert control over the small voice in their mind and as a result attract the goals and dreams they have for themselves. You too will be just like them as soon as you start making note of what you say when you talk to yourself.

Keep on Pushing!
Devon Harris is a member of the original Jamaican Bobsled Team and three time Winter Olympian. He is currently a Motivational Speaker, Workshop Facilitator and Author of the children’s book, Yes, I Can!. To hire Devon to speak at your next event or to purchase a copy of his book, visit his website at http://www.devonharrislive.com